I've said it before and I will say it again...international adoption is like a roller coaster ride. An article was released this week that Ethiopia will be reducing international adoptions from the country by 90%. The number of Ethiopian adoptions has grown dramatically over the past few years. As it has grown, changes to policies and procedures are necessary. It seems that this is a very dramatic response to the problem, and many organizations, including our adoption agency, are in communication with Ethiopian officials to further understand their position.
I really don't think I meant to allow my heart to love the children of this country so deeply, or to allow myself to picture my own family with a little chocolate chip or two around the table. I really meant to put some better safeguards around my heart because I know how international adoption can work. But here we are and we face the future with many unknowns.
I do know that God is on his throne and that these children are his. I know that he is truly the "father to the fatherless." I know that he has a plan. Today that's about all I know and I'm just resting in that.
Please pray with me for the sweet children of Ethiopia, for Ethiopian officials who are making decisions regarding adoptions, and for families adopting from Ethiopia.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Leaving a Legacy
I'm gearing up to write my next post on why we chose to adopt from Ethiopia, but for today I'm going to take a short break from adoption talk. Today I am pausing to reflect on the life of an extraordinary man, Pastor Fred Winters. Two years ago, March 8, 2009, Pastor Fred was killed after a gunman walked into First Baptist Church of Maryville during his morning message and opened fire. My heart still aches over the untimely loss of such an amazing individual and for the family he left behind. The events of that day were nothing short of traumatizing and many of the vivid details are still etched in my brain. However, what interests me much more than remembering how he died, is remembering how he lived.
A few months back, Mike and I were in the home study process of our adoption. Our social worker asked us the question, "Who have been the most influential people in your life?" I answered, "Fred and Cindy Winters." I told her that we began attending First Baptist Church of Maryville a couple months after we were married and began to build relationships with the Winters family. I told her how they have been mentors to us throughout the early years of our marriage and parenting. I told her that Fred’s life and death will leave a mark on my life forever and that Cindy is a dear friend whose faith in God, love for others, and strength in the midst of tragedy amazes me.
We lost a lot on March 8, 2009. One thing we didn't lose is the legacy Pastor Fred left. He was loyal, wise, caring, and genuine. He had a way with people and was able to talk to anyone. He genuinely cared for others. He had overcome many hardships in his life and risen above them. He was incredibly intelligent. He was consistent. He had a way of seeing the strengths in people and helping them to build those strengths. He was a great story teller. He had vision. He was faithful. He was a true example to follow. He obeyed the command in Luke 10:27 to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, love your neighbor as yourself."
A few months back, Mike and I were in the home study process of our adoption. Our social worker asked us the question, "Who have been the most influential people in your life?" I answered, "Fred and Cindy Winters." I told her that we began attending First Baptist Church of Maryville a couple months after we were married and began to build relationships with the Winters family. I told her how they have been mentors to us throughout the early years of our marriage and parenting. I told her that Fred’s life and death will leave a mark on my life forever and that Cindy is a dear friend whose faith in God, love for others, and strength in the midst of tragedy amazes me.
We lost a lot on March 8, 2009. One thing we didn't lose is the legacy Pastor Fred left. He was loyal, wise, caring, and genuine. He had a way with people and was able to talk to anyone. He genuinely cared for others. He had overcome many hardships in his life and risen above them. He was incredibly intelligent. He was consistent. He had a way of seeing the strengths in people and helping them to build those strengths. He was a great story teller. He had vision. He was faithful. He was a true example to follow. He obeyed the command in Luke 10:27 to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, love your neighbor as yourself."
I will never forget Pastor Fred and the legacy he has left for us to follow. I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to call him my pastor.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Counting the Cost
By far, the two most frequently asked questions when people find out we are adopting are: "How did you choose to adopt from Ethiopia?" (I'll answer this one next time) and "Doesn't that cost a lot?" The answer to this one is, "Yes." In fact, I often tell people that it will cost about what the average American spends on a new vehicle. The fees are paid incrementally to several different entities as so many steps are involved in international adoption. Here's a rough idea what the breakdown looks like:
When we decided we were going to adopt in 2008, we knew we needed to prepare financially. We began to make sacrifices and challenged ourselves to cut back anywhere we could in order to save. Even still, the fees seemed so much higher than we would be able to finance and we knew God would have to provide. Throughout this time, we also felt the effects of the economic downturn and I resigned from my job after having our third child.
We officially began the adoption process in the summer of 2010, and our first large payment was due in early August. At the end of July, we enlisted help from many wonderful friends and had an adoption fundraising yard sale. We were overwhelmed by the generosity of people who donated items to be sold and those who gave of their time to help. Let me make a long story short...It poured almost the whole two days, and we made a whopping $1,750! Amazing! The next week our payment was due and we were thrilled to have made a significant portion of it at our yard sale. We were brought to tears when we opened our mailbox to find a check from a sweet family at our church that covered (to the penny) the remainder of the payment. This family had not even been aware of the specific need at that time or of the amount brought in from the yard sale. They had only felt the nudge to give and had obeyed. God-math.
Our second large payment was due right before Christmas. We had applied and interviewed for an adoption grant, but were not sure we would be approved. Right when I was needing to mail off the check, we recieved confirmation that we had been approved for the grant. The grant covered a large portion of this payment and we were so grateful. A couple days later, Mike recieved a very unexpected bonus that came quite close to covering the remainder of the payment. God-math.
The majority of our adoption expenses are still ahead and we don't know exactly how they will be covered. We are doing our best to make wise decisions and sacrifice in order to continue to save. I'm not convinced every step will be easy. God doesn't promise us that. I am convinced He will provide and I'm actually excited to see how.
I am in a Beth Moore study on the book of Daniel that has been life-changing. A great quote from the last session has stuck with me: "Our calling will cost us something." This statement took my thoughts to our adoption...the cost is high and has required us to make some sacrifices. But, this is our calling...part of our life's purpose! Oh my, is it worth the cost! Every. single. penny. I'm so thankful that through our own selfishness we didn't miss it. I believe that would have cost much more.
- Application fees to adoption agency and home study agency
- Home study and adoption training
- Physicals and testing
- Documents (original birth certificates, marriage license, passports, etc)
- USCIS application fee and fingerprinting
- Dossier fee (due to our adoption agency)
- Adoption agency program fee (due at the time we are matched with our child. This fee will be double if we are matched with twins or a sibling set. This fee goes to the adoption agency and to Ethiopia. Much of this fee goes to provide humanitarian aid in Ethiopia.)
- Travel fees (Ethiopia requires two trips. Fees include plan tickets, lodging and meals.)
- Post placement services
When we decided we were going to adopt in 2008, we knew we needed to prepare financially. We began to make sacrifices and challenged ourselves to cut back anywhere we could in order to save. Even still, the fees seemed so much higher than we would be able to finance and we knew God would have to provide. Throughout this time, we also felt the effects of the economic downturn and I resigned from my job after having our third child.
We officially began the adoption process in the summer of 2010, and our first large payment was due in early August. At the end of July, we enlisted help from many wonderful friends and had an adoption fundraising yard sale. We were overwhelmed by the generosity of people who donated items to be sold and those who gave of their time to help. Let me make a long story short...It poured almost the whole two days, and we made a whopping $1,750! Amazing! The next week our payment was due and we were thrilled to have made a significant portion of it at our yard sale. We were brought to tears when we opened our mailbox to find a check from a sweet family at our church that covered (to the penny) the remainder of the payment. This family had not even been aware of the specific need at that time or of the amount brought in from the yard sale. They had only felt the nudge to give and had obeyed. God-math.
Our second large payment was due right before Christmas. We had applied and interviewed for an adoption grant, but were not sure we would be approved. Right when I was needing to mail off the check, we recieved confirmation that we had been approved for the grant. The grant covered a large portion of this payment and we were so grateful. A couple days later, Mike recieved a very unexpected bonus that came quite close to covering the remainder of the payment. God-math.
The majority of our adoption expenses are still ahead and we don't know exactly how they will be covered. We are doing our best to make wise decisions and sacrifice in order to continue to save. I'm not convinced every step will be easy. God doesn't promise us that. I am convinced He will provide and I'm actually excited to see how.
I am in a Beth Moore study on the book of Daniel that has been life-changing. A great quote from the last session has stuck with me: "Our calling will cost us something." This statement took my thoughts to our adoption...the cost is high and has required us to make some sacrifices. But, this is our calling...part of our life's purpose! Oh my, is it worth the cost! Every. single. penny. I'm so thankful that through our own selfishness we didn't miss it. I believe that would have cost much more.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Why Not Us?
I really can't remember a time when I didn't have a soft spot in my heart for adoption. For years, Mike and I have discussed adopting "someday." Sadly, I never really believed that we would. I mean, while I always believed it was a great thing to do, my list of fears was entirely too long...How would we handle a child who had been in an orphanage or foster care? How would we pay for it? Would we be able to develop a bond with the child? How would our family respond? My multitude of concerns made it very easy to put adopting in the "someday" category and leave it alone.
In 2004, we had our first child. In 2006, we had our second. In July 2008, I began to desire to add to our family again. Around the same time, I picked up a copy of a magazine with several great articles about Ethiopia and other African countries. I read every article several times and couldn't stop thinking about the needs in this area of the world. I found myself staying up till the early hours of the morning to read websites/blogs about Africa and then couldn't sleep because my heart ached for these innocent children. God had definitely got my attention. My questions began to change...Why do I live a life of plenty, while so many others are living without even their basic needs met? How can I continue to go about my life pretending that these extreme needs don't exist? What am I doing to obey the command in James 1:27 to care for orphans? Who will help the 143 million orphans in the world? Why not us?
We made a decision to follow God in adopting and on my birthday, we announced to our closest friends that we were going to adopt from Ethiopia. Since that point, I've not only had a spot in my heart for adoption, I've had a spot at my table. I've begun to love a child I've never met.
Ironically, about a month later, two lines on the little stick showed that baby #3 was on the way. While this was a surprise to us, it was all a part of God's plan. Our sweet little Oliver was born in 2009 and I can't imagine our lives without him.
Throughout this waiting period, God continued to grow our hearts and prepare our family to adopt. In June 2010, we completed our application to adopt from Ethiopia. In the past 7 months, we've been neck deep in paperwork. We've become licensed with DCFS, completed our home study, submitted our paperwork to USCIS and we are currently waiting for our approval so a bunch of our paperwork (called a dossier) can be sent to Ethiopia. We are approved to adopt a little boy up to 18 months of age and are also approved to adopt siblings or twins. We recently applied and were approved for the Waiting Child Program at our agency, as well, which means we may have the opportunity to chose a child who has special needs.
I regret having not kept a blog throughout these past several months as they have been some of the most growing of my life. I have been enlightened about my own spiritual adoption and how desperately I needed to be rescued. As my heart has grown for adoption, I have begun to understand in a way I have never grasped before what Christ has done for me. He adopted me (Romans 8:15-16) and he calls me his child. Our sweet Ethiopian babe will become a Witt. He will be part of our family. He will fill the empty chair at my table. He will pick up some our our strange habits and our sense of humor. He will be expected to follow our family rules. He will be ours. I am told in Scripture that I am God's child. He has adopted me. I am His. He has poured out His love freely to me (Romans 5:5).
There are still many fears that lay on my heart at times. International adoption is full of ups and downs. There are so many unknowns. Yet we know as God's children, we have been commanded to care for "the least of these" (Matthew 25:40). With nearly 5 million orphans in Ethiopia alone, and an estimated 143 million orphans worldwide the need is great. Many people will need to act in order to make a change. So why not us?
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